The One Coworker You Shouldn't Trust
Spotting the quiet warning signs in the office
We all wish to imagine that work is a team effort. That everyone is rowing in the same boat. But if you hang around long enough in any office, you realize that not everyone who works there is someone you can trust.
People in offices often try to protect their own image and position by building alliances and connections that help them look good.
Sometimes it’s subtle like small favors, whispered updates, quick nods or subtle signals in meetings. It can feel social and harmless. But the goal is often to stay safe, look important, or get ahead, even if it leaves someone else exposed.
Office Politics isn’t always loud or dramatic. It is often quiet, cautious, and concealed behind a smile. It appears like support, friendliness, or assistance, until you notice the price.
The Type of Coworker to Watch For
Not every warning sign is dramatic. Some of the most damaging behaviors look friendly on the surface.
Here are some things to notice:
The colleague who acts supportive just to get personal details and then shares them at the worst time.
Someone who remembers your mistakes but “forgets” their own when talking to the boss.
A coworker who asks “how are you really?” but only to gather gossip.
Someone who agrees with you privately, but stays silent when you need their backing in a meeting.
The person who seems close to everyone but never truly loyal to anyone.
A colleague who flatters you when they need something, then distances themselves after.
The coworker who volunteers confidential info about others — which should make you wonder what they share about you.
The one who seems to play both sides of every conflict to stay safe.
Why This Hurts More Than You Expect
This type of behavior does more harm than destroy projects or reputations. It ruins trust. It makes you doubt your judgment. It leaves you vulnerable or humiliated for having said too much. It wastes energy you might have devoted to actual work.
The psychological impact is often worse than the professional consequences. When someone violates your trust in these subtle ways, it creates a lingering sense of vulnerability that can affect how you show up at work.
What You Can Do About It
You don’t have to turn into someone you’re not. But you can set clear boundaries. Here are some ideas:
Slow down how rapidly you share intimate information, particularly with individuals you don't know well.
Notice how someone treats other people's tales before you open up to them about yours.
Establish trust in the long run rather than giving it all at once.
If someone has already betrayed your trust in the past, it's fine to deflect politely or remain light.
Create a small cluster of individuals you actually do trust rather than attempting to be as close to all others.
Keep in mind that being polite and considerate isn't the same as exposing yourself.
In case you feel used or manipulated, speak with somebody outside work you feel you can trust in order to gain perspective.
You don't need to be cynical or shut down. But be cautious. Observe patterns over time. Only share personal information with people who earn your trust. Being considerate does not require you to be open with everything. It is acceptable to keep some things to yourself.
Stay with Kopi Break as we keep exploring these quiet, often overlooked dynamics of work. We will also talk about how to protect yourself without losing your humanity and how to build real trust with the right people.
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